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Expression through words

You tell me you'd like to see me again, 
what you'd like isn't my concern, I'm not an old friend

You know not this person, though she looks like me,
the young girl you reminisce could no longer be 
Don't give yourself credit, for you were not the artist,
I watched myself burn in flames, turns out I'm quite the arsonist,
and I laughed like a lunatic under the full moons light,
as the flames painted their shapes on the surface of my eyes and boy did they gleam bright

If we were to meet now, it would only leave you confused,
that young girl ran out of love after it kept being used
but humans need a fuel, a drive, a will to live,
and she flew on her pain, so now pain is her gift to give
She doesn't need to survive because she can rise from the dead,
she grew a second voice, a second brain, replaced her heart with Medusa's head

and you would not like to see me again, 
what you would like is not my concern, I am not your old friend.
I heard foreign thoughts spoken by an inner voice I no longer recognised. The paranoia began engulfing me like a pathogen, consuming me rapid and completely the way he once had. I have tried flicking through the pages of us but the motions of a scribbling hand desperate to etch the words to  paper before the moment passed had smudged the ink across the middle, the way it had blurred in my memory. All the page now read was once upon a time and the end. I pondered, trying to understand how he had become a stranger to me once again, but began to realise that it was I who had become a stranger in my own mind.
 I looked through rose tinted glass for you, for you I call stupidity hope and truth a paranoia. I notice your inconvenient paths past her, I recognise the way she grins at you the way I once had. The suspicion is alien to me, an insecurity I did not know I was capable of but the glances you exchange  that you think I don't see are too familiar. Had you ever really listened to me, you would know better than to take me for a fool. I see you, I see her,  I see it all... I see you reading this right now. 

Her eyelashes flicker like the broken bulb above,

As she lies through the grit of her teeth
Of the places she's been, and things she has seen,
Of which we will never know.

She howls at the moon from her bedroom window,

And it rains from the doors of her soul
About the pain inside, the demons within, 
Of which we will never know.

The heavy mask upon her skin is painted thicker each day,
Whilst we are deluded by one side of the mirror
By the image she creates to hide the bruised victim beneath,
Of which you will never know. 

What a beautiful truth it is that the lips that compose such beautiful words, to express his beautiful mind, crave mine. That he chooses to share the tools of his creations with me. And when we kiss, I can feel us falling further into each other with every touch, merging into one energy of synchronicity. I close my eyes and watch us in my imagination. I envision our auras escaping from the breath exchanged between us, rising like red and orange stained smoke. The vivid swirls resembling marble defying the darkness of the night surrounding us, one intertwining the other, undisturbed by the skies tears. Every particle of my matter feels magnetized to him. I surrender.
My limbs latch to his frame a little longer than I know they ought to, clinging to his hinges for I have broken from mine.
And I search for a soul within those blue pools searching back at me a little deeper than I know I ought to, believing I could swim...
 but I'm drowning in him.

The heavy heartbeat of the party enchants me into a hypnotic trance as I enter the strangers home. The large red door acts as a portal, teleporting me to my escape. I am there, I am in the moment, I am lost in my twisted utopia. My eyes attempt to decipher the exhausting variety of flashing colours exposed to them whilst the room appears to be wild and spinning. The thunderous bass, blinding illuminations and vaguely familiar tastes, all too overpowering to sense, feel or think of anything else, send me into a state of mental paralysis where no thought can penetrate the wall of carelessness that has been built. It makes me feel like Alice... perhaps this is this is my wonderland.

I wanted to feel complete, fulfilled yet balanced like the yin yang. I wanted him to be someone who possessed what I lacked and lacked what I possessed. I wanted to share my strength where he was weak, and my weakness where he was strong. To fill the empty spaces we could not occupy alone like the protruding pieces and indents of a jigsaw becoming one because together the bigger picture appears just a bit simpler, just a bit easier and just a bit clearer.

He gave me experiences where I had none and in turn I returned his alluring gazes with the brand new vision he awoke in me. Alas, his experiences had grudgingly plunged him into the big pond of maturity and I was the small but great fish reviving the youth within him. And amid our lacklustre lives, emerged a foreign element of fear that this entanglement could be exposed and stolen from us, compensated by the exhilaration from the pleasure that could be gained from it.